February 17th, 2014
|08:07 pm - I changed my mind|
I've bought pen and paper and started to keep a journal.
Writing there is better that writing here, so no more posts about me, myself and I.
November 3rd, 2013
|12:26 pm - Childhood part 1|
I had a happy childhood.
( Read more...Collapse )
October 29th, 2013
|09:37 pm - Exercise is good for you|
Just a quick note tonight.
Loads of anxiety today, so I bought a sandwich and had a "walking" lunch.
Two immediate results:
Pain in my hips and legs, which most likely means that I should walk more.
Amount of anxiety much lessened in the afternoon.
If it only wasn't so boring,
walking from point A back to point A is not my idea of a good time.
October 28th, 2013
|07:37 pm - PSA|
I've decided to start posting here again. I have a permanent account so why not use it.
Feel free to unfriend me though, since I'll be using this as a sort of therapy.
I am very depressed right now, and I think it would help to write some stuff down.
Who I am, who I want to be, what I believe... Stuff like that.
November 9th, 2010
|07:46 pm - Sad Panda|
I got my yearly raise today.
First my boss told me that I'm the best java programmer in the universe, (I'm slightly exaggerating),
then he gave me a tiny tiny raise.
It always makes me sad when that happens, if I'm such a great programmer why can't he show me
by actually giving me a big raise. I feel as if he doesn't mean it, he thinks I suck, but flattery is free.
I feel like a failure.
(Sorry for spoiling your nice friend page, just needed to vent a bit.)
August 12th, 2010
|02:14 pm - Red Fridge?|
Out walking last night I found a shop selling refrigerators.
Googled it when I came home and it's apparently italian.
I guess it's because i'm a nerd, but I found it highly amusing.
Current Mood: amused
August 10th, 2010
|10:56 am - Boom, baby!|
Ha, it's been exactly one year since my last post. Talk about procrastinating.
August 10th, 2009
|08:09 pm - Summer in the city|
I went to the comic book shop today. I had 23 comics waiting for me, (mostly Fables and Echo).
Talk about procrastination, I should try to go there more often.
I also brought home the latest volume of Girl Genius, and "Mouse Guard - Winter 1152".
All in all, a successful expedition.
July 30th, 2009
Wonder if it's possible to make a career out of procrastinating, it seems to be the only thing I'm good at.
April 20th, 2009
|10:11 pm - Anyone good at interpreting the meaning of dreams?|
I had a hard time falling asleep last night.
Last time I checked the watch it was past 2 o'clock in the morning.
And when I finally fell asleep I dreamt about not being able to fall asleep...
Current Mood: tired
March 9th, 2009
|12:31 pm - Bot or Not|
I've been friended by someone named gdomgkina
Current Mood: curious
January 19th, 2009
|05:23 pm - A small step...|
I've bought a pedometer to try and motivate myself to walk more.
I hear 10000 steps is 'normal' and I expected somewhere around 2000 for me a normal day.
I'm happy to report that I actually walked over 4000 steps today.
That means It's going to be easier than I thought to get it up to 10000.
Current Mood: grinning
January 14th, 2009
|08:36 pm - Is "The Spirit" any good?|
Has anyone seen The Spirit?
From the trailers I've seen it seems as it's more like Sin City than the comic I read as a kid.
Is it worth watching?
January 12th, 2009
|08:18 pm - New year, new promise|
I'm back from my winter vacation. Good times!
Last year I made a lot of promises, I didn't keep even one of them.
This year I've decided to try a new angle, I'm going to try to become 14 cm taller.
That way my BMI will be great, without me needing to lose weight.
I'll get back to you with progress reports...
November 12th, 2008
|10:40 pm - Update on my, (chronic), depression|
I've spoken with a psychologist today. Second time actually, first time was last week.
She told me something last week that has helped me a lot.
I've always compared my depression to a tooth ache.
You get a dentist to find the problem and fix it, then you will never have any problem with that tooth again.
The thing that irritates me most is the fact that I can't figure out which "tooth" that hurts.
What my therapist said is something that I've heard before, but it has never stuck.
She told me that if a person has been depressed before, then it's easier for that person to become depressed again.
When I get depressed I start trying to figure out what makes me depressed. What part of my life sucks so bad that I become depressed.
...and I don't get it. Sure, I don't have the best life a man could have, but I live a good life and I'm reasonably happy.
What she told me made me think that maybe there's nothing wrong with my life, maybe it's more like Crohns disease. (my chronic intestine problem) The doctors don't know why I got Crohns, it could be stress, to much sugar, something genetic...
But the main thing is that I can live with it, as long as I think about what I eat and drink. I can eat a greasy pizza, but then I have to be prepared to spend a lot of time in the little boys room the next day. If I'm careful Crohns doesn't bother me much.
Maybe it's the same with my depression. For some reason I got depressed years ago, and now I have to take extra care of myself. If I don't take care, then I can easily become depressed again.
To think about it as a chronic problem that I have to learn to cope with, instead of something that can be "fixed" makes a big difference for me. A difference that I like, a lot.
Last week we just spoke about this and that, this week she made me promise to actually try to do stuff that can help me.
Until our next meeting I have to...
exercise at least twice during the week.
do something one weekday evening, watch a movie or something. (Not a DVD, I have to leave the apartment)
Saturday and Sunday I have to take a walk for one hour one day, and go shopping the other.
Lets see if I'm any better at keeping these promises.
|10:36 pm - Promises, October update of|
I can clearly not be trusted to keep my promises.
Haven't added any books to LibraryThing, haven't read any books or thrown any books away.
I've gained even more weight, I'm up to 90.5 kilos.
October 13th, 2008
|06:54 pm - Promises, September update of|
I just realized that I've forgotten to do my monthly update.
I haven't added any books to LibraryThing, again.
I have only found 1 book to get rid of, again.
I've gained weight, up to 88,5. (Eating comfort food when you're depressed makes you sad that you're not losing weight)
I've only read 1,5 books.
The second half of Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. (It's not a keeper, too confusing) and one of Heinlein's juveniles, (Tunnel in the Sky), that I reread while I did the laundry.
October 5th, 2008
|06:35 pm - For the first time ever...|
I did it, I've been playing on line since Meridian (what was that number 52, 59?) and this is the first time I've ever maxed out one of my characters.
Here's Khayla, my Rogue.
(The reason why she's the first can been seen if you check her guild. Yes, they are all my characters. I suffer from "altitis".)
|05:10 pm - 300|
I just watched 300, and what fascinates me most about that movie is the fact that the spartans wore Speedos, I never knew.
September 1st, 2008
|05:42 pm - Promises, August update of|
Still don't feel like doing much of anything.
I haven't added any books to LibraryThing, could be better. (Look how positive I am!)
I have only found 1 book to get rid of, could be better.
I've lost weight, I'm down to 87,6, could be better.
I've only read 1,5 books, the one I'm going to get rid of and about half of Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. (In my defense it's a very thick book)