Fredrik M Lundh (dominicflandry) wrote,
Fredrik M Lundh

I am actually going to eat yummy cheese tonight.

I visited my doctor today.
I've been taking antidepressants for a year now and it was time to evaluate the whole thing.

I've felt pretty good most of the time,
except the last two months when I've started to feel depressed again.
Not as bad as before I started with the pills, but not as good as the previous months.

We both agreed that increasing the dosage isn't the right way to go.
If I need more now, then I'm going to need an even higher dose in a few months time...

Doc told me what doc thought could help. Doc wrapped it up in a nice little package with
a ribbon around, but I still got the message. Doc told me to get a life.

And not just any life, but a social life.
(My mother's going to say, "I told you so!")

Sure, I would most likely feel better if I had a few friends to hang out with, (or maybe even a girlfriend),
but how am I supposed to get from here all the way over there.

The people I work with are the only people I meet regularly.
But they have lives of their own, most of them are married and have kids.
They don't want to hang out after work, they want to get home and have dinner.

Then there's the swedish SF conventions, but that's only once or twice a year.
(Missed one this weekend because I didn't really feel like going, (see depression above))
And I hardly ever talk to anyone there, big crowds make me even more withdrawn than I usually am.

That's the total amount of my social life. So, how do I go about increasing it?

Why can't life be simple, why can't I be satisfied on my own.
I have a nice apartment, a great job, I'm reasonably healthy,
I have money enough to buy all the toys I want, the internet is full of porn erotica.
What more could I possibly need?

Time to buckle up, I think there's a bumpy ride ahead.

Tags: depression

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